At the end of my elder initiation, I was presented with a staff and a stool.  The staff to represent the higher wisdom that has been installed into my bones, and the stool to represent the elevated status I have achieved within the community.  I have come to learn that this status expands far beyond the reach of my work in African shamanism, but applies to my work as a yoga instructor as well.

My yoga practice has evolved over the years.  When I first started practicing, I’d drive 90 minutes on the weekends to attend a Bikram class, and then practice at home during the week to a Bikram tape (the old fashioned audio cassette type).  More often than not, I practiced alone. Then, I moved and practiced in the studio religiously.  When I wasn’t inspired enough by that, I started attending yoga retreats and workshops, always looking for inspiration from the teacher.  Then I developed a solid home practice, returning from whence I began, with a lot more knowledge on my resume.

Since my elder initiation, I’ve been called to attend classes again, as if to repeat the process with new eyes.  Studios are hiring me to consult, to inspire their teachers, to bring the teachers into community with each other. So now, whenever I step onto my mat in a class, I am no longer there to be inspired or served by the teacher.   But instead, I am there to serve everyone in the room through my practice and my support, on a subtle energetic level.  I can no longer step into a class with any concept of what makes a “good” or “bad” class or any other form of judgment.  Essentially, it is my responsibility to step out of my own needs and look at where the teacher and the students in the room are coming from and meet them where they are at, support and validate them for their places in the world, and encourage them compassionately and lovingly to the next step, the next level, without saying a word.  My practice must be in full support of the teacher, and be a model to the students around me.  Even if that means grooving in warrior pose to that hip hop song I’ve always hated, or listening to the student next to me breathe like a railroad train.  It is a total surrender of my ideals and my needs to the essence of being of service to everyone else.  It is finding a way to appreciate the hip hop music because it too has value, and loving the railroad breath next to me because it is ujjayi in its own way.

I give of myself, in every class, and the nicest side effect of being in service in this way is that I learn and grow even more.  It is from the giving, the service, where my true growth occurs.