Prana Pages

In 2008, a Nature year, we have endured a great year of transformation, change, and coming into the truth.  Now, as we step into the Mineral year of 2009, we will connect with the element of Mineral which holds the deep memories of who we really are, the light of the sun as we hold it inside ourselves, our life’s purpose.

As we draw very near to the winter solstice, Christmas, and the end of 2008, many yoga practitioners are reporting drastic changes occurring in their bodies and their lives.  As 2008 has been a year of transformation, of great change, of growth, we have been challenged by many things such as the economy, the political elections, the ongoing wars, the crashing of the housing market, and now the downfall of many big businesses along with the revealing of some pretty nasty scandals across the country.  As we emerge toward the end of the year, the energy is calling for the last bits of change to take place so that we can step into 2009 with the right energy and into the right space.

As yogis, we may be experiencing  injuries, illnesses, aches & pains in our bodies, but we also may be discovering ourselves landing poses that were seemingly impossible before.  As we are challenged by poses that were easy before, we are now able to find strength and flexibility in ways we never have before as well.  This is to be expected as we near the end of the year of change.  On a cellular and energetic level, our chemical make-up, or our energetic DNA is changing, resulting in some dramatic effects.  These changes are necessary as we prepare for 2009, a year of remembering our life purpose and living in it.

In the Dagara Cosmological Medicine Wheel, 2008 represents the element of Nature –  Change & Transformation to reveal the Truth & Authenticity.  2009 represents the element of Mineral  - Wisdom & Memories to express & communicate our purpose that lies within our bones.  It is no accident this year at the winter solstice that yogis across the globe will perform 108 sun salutations to celebrate the Nature number of 8, while numerologically 108 (1+0+8)=9, we will also be celebrating the Mineral number of 9.

Whether you plan to participate in 108 sun salutations, or some other winter solstice celebration, or you just plan to step on your mat this weekend as you normally do.  I invite you to reflect upon the changes that have occurred in 2008 and how this transformation has helped prepare you to connect with the deep wisdom within your bones in order to express your true calling.

To help facilitate this process on our mats, now is the time to focus on the transitions between poses more than the poses themselves.  For vinyasa yoga practitioners, 2/3 of our practice is actually transitions between poses, so it only makes sense to bring more awareness to those spaces in between.  It is that space between poses, that subtle pause between breaths, that stillness between the actions where we will find the deep truth that resides within our bones.

The first time I ever tried frog pose was at a yoga bootcamp.  I’d never done more than a two hour yoga practice before, and here I had spent the entire day in hot and humid Mexico not enjoying the beach, but sweating in a yoga room, performing pose after pose, practicing, practice teaching, breaking down poses, ingesting, digesting, processing, constructing, deconstructing, balancing, breaking down, falling, standing, stretching, and pulling apart to putting back together pose after pose after pose.

Most of the class seemed to settle into frog pretty easily.  I struggled right from the start.  I tried doubling up my mat under my knees, rolling up a blanket under my knees, propping up on my elbows, stacking blocks under my chest, turning my head one way, then the other.  I had someone’s foot practically in my mouth, and I felt like my legs were about to pop off like my barbie’s did when I tried to make her do the center splits.  The teacher told jokes about frogs.  Students chimed in like it was a game.  I moaned, fidgeted, fussed, cried, screamed, itched, antsied, adjusted, readjusted, and never ever found a way to be still.  The only time I felt even a teensy bit of pleasure was when Charles told Baron to “Shut the F*&! Up!”  Charles was my hero then, but Baron didn’t listen.  All the while, my cute and super flexy husband next to me was laying flat, belly to the floor, with a look on his face that seemed like absolute bliss.  I told him I didn’t love him anymore.

This went on for thirty minutes.

Doing my time in frog pose wasn’t even close to the pinnacle of the experience for me.  The breakdown, or break through, or whatever it was, came after lunch the next day.  We were broken into four teams, and each team was supposed to come up with a team name that everybody on the team liked.  We were encouraged to speak up if we didn’t like something.  My team started throwing out ideas, I hated them all, and I wasn’t afraid to say so.  I tried to be kind about it, but after awhile, something just took over and I was Biotch-Queen.  Time was up, and the group settled on my least favorite selection.  I’ll never forget how cheesy and stupid I felt as Charles screamed “give me a Y” and my team echoed back to him through the entire chant of Yin-Yang Yogies.  I didn’t like Charles anymore after that.

It was about 2pm.   I walked out of the building to get some fresh air in the two minute break we had to set up for practice teaching after our stupid chants.  I never made it to practice teach.  Instead, I collapsed on the sand, curled up into a little ball in the sand and wished I could be a hermit crab.  I felt like my skin was being singed off my body at the same time as my vital organs were being burned out from the inside.  My teeth chattered like I was bitter cold, so hard that every bite felt like the dentist hitting a nerve.  I hyperventilated, I quit breathing, I gasped for breath, I stared off into space.  One of the assistants came to ask if I was okay, and I kicked at her, screamed at her to leave me alone.  Her touch on my skin felt like she was reaching right inside to pull out the marrow of my bones to keep for herself.  The pain, the emptiness, the anxiety, the fear, the loneliness, everything was just so overwhelming.  I couldn’t feel anything, and I felt everything all at the same time.

Then came the memories.

It was like they say in the movies, that you see your entire life flash before your eyes before you die.  I thought I was dying because my whole life was right there, but not like some movie screen, it was inside my body.  It was like every negative emotion, every physical injury, every illness, and every ailment I had ever experienced in my life were compounding in my body and my brain all at once.  I was no longer on the beach in Mexico, but I was on the asphalt road after I had been hit by a truck.  I was getting stitches in my head.  I was driving into oncoming traffic trying to commit suicide.  I remembered every negative experience of my life because I was reliving it all right there on the beach.

I no longer thought I was dying, but wished that I could die.  Or had I died, and this was hell?

I went in and out of consciousness like that for hours.  The assistants had long since stopped trying to talk me out of it or convince me to put my legs up the wall.  They had resigned themselves to taking shifts in watching me, from a safe distance.  Sometimes I would respond to them in mutters or whispers as they tried to talk to me, but then something they would say would always trigger another memory and send me back into my own personal hell.

Baron came to lead the evening yoga practice and stopped to talk to me in the sand.  I don’t remember what he said, or if I was even able to respond.  About an hour after that, one of the assistants managed to get me back into the yoga room for the end of the practice.

The rest of the night was a blur, but the next morning I was a new person.  Giddy, happy, joyful, playful, bouncy, ecstatic, enthused, sparkly, shiny, and bright.  We did frog every night.  It never got physically comfortable for me, but I was able to laugh at the stupid zen jokes.  I even kissed the big toe that was in my face.  And, I told my husband I loved him again.

Years later, practicing frog pose now brings the opposite effect to me.  I experience a state of complete ecstasy that erupts in the form of uncontrollable laughter, deep belly laughs, very uncharacteristic of my typical giggle.  If I’m in a class where the instructor holds frog pose for an extended time, it is not uncommon now for me to start this laughter (I can’t help it) and it becomes contagious throughout the room.  What was once the most dreaded pose I could ever imagine is now the most thrilling!

Frog pose gradually stretches the ligaments and tendons deep within the pelvic region.  This is where we store deep emotions.  In life, oftentimes emotion comes up at times where expression or processing of that emotion is either not possible at the time or not appropriate.  For example, often in times of trauma, such as a bad accident, out bodies protect us by going into shock, a state at which we do not feel the intensity of the pain that is occurring at the time (this was my case when I was hit by the truck).  But, that emotion and those feelings of pain must go somewhere, so they often hide in the hips, the pelvis.  Another trauma may release the pain at another time, or it may escape over time in little bursts.  Another example would be when we find something funny, but it is inappropriate to laugh out loud, or we deny ourselves laughter because we have been shamed to believe our laughter is “stupid” or “wrong”.  Thus, it is possible to hide feelings of joy and pleasure inside the pelvis as well.  Frog pose is a way to release those pent up emotions.  To process the pains, joys, pleasures, and traumas of our lives in a safe environment.  (Pigeon poses may also evoke such effects)

Alignment

• Shape your legs like frog legs:  thighs at ninety degrees from torso, shins at ninety degrees from thighs, feet at ninety degrees from shins
• Be sure to flex the feet outwards, this protects the knees
• Tilt the pelvis to neutral, keeping the pubic bone pulled in to “uddiyana” - avoiding “duck butt”
• Let gravity take the pose…this one pose where sinking into the ligaments of the joints is the intention…so let your muscles relax and surrender to the alignment

Benefits

• Relaxes tension and tightness in the pelvis, which can be healing to strains on the low back
• Releases pent up emotions
• Processes old traumas
• Promotes surrender
• Teaches acceptance with what is

Modifications

• For people with extremely tight or internally rotated hips, bad knees, or bad ankles, frog may be contra-indicated.  Try it laying on your back with legs in frog  up in the air.  Or try it like a wall-sit with back against a wall, squatting.
• Hindi squat is a good option as well…but for some, flat feet on the floor is impossible
• Variations of pigeon poses will have similar effects without the intensity
• As noted in the testimonial above, Frog can have dramatic effects.  Be sure to practice this pose is a safe environment, and with people who are well aware of the possible effects who can “hold the space” appropriately

As many of you know, this Friday (Dec 12, 2008) was a full moon, and boy was it a doozy! There was A TON of energy shifted with this full moon, and with all the energy shifts we have had as of late, we wonder why they don’t seem to be getting any easier. The apple cart just keeps getting upset and we just keep putting things back in order. But, everytime we put the apples back, they take on a new shape in the cart, and thus the cart needs to make adjustments to carry the load in a different way. Our bodies are readjusting to the changes in the universe.

NO WONDER OUR BODIES FEEL ALL OUT OF WHACK IN PRACTICE LATELY!

I noticed this latest energy shift with Friday’s full moon has had deeper effects over the weekend. My own practice has been stiff, tight, heavy, shaky, sore, etc…and my students were finding child’s pose and other respites more often than usual. THIS IS NORMAL…EXPECTED…and VERY HEALTHY! The energy shift is testing us, are we able to take the change in the movement without getting too flustered? The answer is YES! But, it also means this is the BEST time to clean out the garbage, so to speak. We need to lighten our apple cart by letting go of the rotten apples and those crab apples we’ve been carrying for so long. Everytime the upset happens, and we have to restock the cart, it is a great time to sort through and let go of the crap.

So, all you yoga teachers out there, the next few days as your students may complain about deeper aches and pains, weaknesses, soreness, anxiety, sadness, etc. This is a good time to guide them softly to a place of release. Offer classes in “long slow deep”…longer holds are awesome here, perhaps hinting to them that “less is more” in terms of power and effort. Deep hip poses followed by cleansing twists will bring up the crap from the crevices and then rinse them out through the sweat of twists. Be prepared to hold the space for students as emotions run high. It is more important now than ever for those of us who have “been there - done that” to hold the space for practitioners who are new to feeling the energetic effects of physical shifts in our bodies. We came out of it better, now let’s help others get there!

Yes, the energy is changing, and in some way, so too, must the physicality. We will feel this in our deep connective tissues. So go deep, let go, and LOVE!

At a bootcamp once, Baron had us revolving from one side twisting triangle to the other, from facing the front of the room to facing the back, over and over again, on one breath each for a good fifteen minutes.  It must have been over a hundred rotations from right side to left side twisting triangle.  Talk about a dizzying experience!  I learned quickly to take my block with me and transfer it over my head.

While we were twisting and turning (some of us slipping and sliding away), Baron and his crew of assistants gave personal adjustments to every single student in the room.  Some of us were told to get out of our egos and use a block.  Others were literally anchored into the ground  as assistants stood on toes and pulled back hips.  Still others were twisted until our spines and shoulders popped and cracked.  All the while, I was singing Twist and Shout inside my head.

The next day, a very brave and vocal student raised her hand and asked Baron proudly, “Baron?  What’s with the diarrhea?”  The whole class giggled as Baron explained that the previous day’s practice had worked its magic.

There’s nothing like a long hold of twisting triangle to shut up the itty bitty shitty committee of my brain that rambles about everything and nothing and get me thinking only about what is happening at the precise moment in my body.  In fact, twisting triangle has a lot to say, sometimes long after the practice is over, constantly returning me to the full presence of being in my body and out of my head.

Twisting Triangle is deceptively difficult, thus offering a true experience in challenge.  In fact, it is probably the most complicated of poses used in the average yoga class, even more challenging than headstand.  Early in my practice, I thought this pose was rather simple.  I could easily reach my lower hand to the floor, turn my shoulders, and reach my upper hand to the sky —as long as I didn’t think about what my legs and hips and spine were doing.  Then, a master teacher adjusted me once from the hips, and I found my upper hand pointing almost parallel to the floor, but I felt something really new and different in my middle spine.  “Oh, that’s what a twist means!”

There’s a whole lot of physical alignments to think about while working twisting triangle, and it seems that with every adjustment I make, something else pops out of alignment.  It’s a constant tug of war, between the hips and the shoulders, the head and the low back, the front leg and the back leg, the upper arm and the lower arm.  If I square the pelvis, I lose some of the twist.  If I twist too far, I lose pelvic alignment.  If I reach my head forward, weight pushes off my back leg.  The whole pose is an exercise of never ever quite getting it just right…eventually it teaches the age old yogic lesson of the prize existing within the process.

Alignment

• evenly distribute weight between both feet to establish solid grounding from the past (back leg), stepping into the future (front leg), establishing immediate presence in the now
• square pelvis to front of the room, thus stretching deeply into the hamstrings and releasing anxieties about support, foundation, stability, and structure
• push the pelvis toward the back of the room, affirming that all past experiences can serve as reference into future endeavors
• rotate torso from lower belly, to mid-waist, to rib cage, and finally to shoulders and neck, thus tapping into the un-investigated flexibility of the spine and finding new hiding places for old feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt (twisting will push these negative emotions out - breath will allow for escape of these old pains)
• keep shoulders and neck along the same plane as the hips & pelvis (USE A BLOCK) to prevent curvature of the spine - lengthening of the spine appeals to opening the cavities between the vertebrae, allowing for more hiding places to be revealed
• open arms to full reception and expression of compassion and energy - this requires maintaining the ability to see both hands!  Once you lose vision of one or both hands, you are cranking unnecessarily on the shoulder joint, blocking flow of love and compassion to yourself and others
• pull shoulders down and together, away from the ears to extend the vertebrae at the neck and to open the collar bone - this will help facilitate deeper breathing (which is always a little more challenged in twists) - and open up the flow of life force prana through the whole pose, bringing sukha surrender and relaxation to challenging efforting pose
• rotate the neck to look to the ceiling, leading with the third eye.
• Let the rotation of the pose come from the center core, the chest, and the forehead, thus being guided by your instinct, heart, and intuition

Benefits

• challenges the ego/pride in the apparent “impossibility” of the pose
• teaches the lesson of finding the prize in the process
• shows the importance of full grounding and support as a pre-requisite for opening and expression
• lengthens the spine - helps you to “grow up” and “grow long”
• strengthens the legs - establishes stability in intention
• opens the heart - facilitates compassion and forgiveness
• cleanses the digestive system - rinses out deep old regrets, shames, and resentments
• detoxifies the vital organs - promoting full function of all faculties
• supports the value of modification for individual quirks, supports independence and individuality

Modifications

• bend the front knee the release into the hamstrings and square the pelvis
• lessen the twist to keep stability in squared pelvis
• keep a block under the front hand to avoid over-curvature of the spine
• look down to release tension on the neck
• bring hands to hips to promote stability and release shoulder tension
• bring feet closer together to build more stability and balance
• keep upper hand on low back to guide pelvis to more square

The first time I “flipped my dog” was at Baptiste Teacher Training Bootcamp Level 2 in 2006.  I had no idea what Baron meant when he said to drop my upper leg to the floor.  I couldn’t see where it was supposed to go.  I couldn’t control what happened to my hands, and they were my BASE!  And then, one of the many loving assistants decided to “help” me flip my dog right into wheel pose…what the heck was that, cuz it didn’t feel like love at the time!  I fell flat on my back, the assistant laughed, and said “falling is learning.”  I wanted to slap her because I didn’t feel like laughing, and I certainly didn’t feel like I was learning anything.

“If you wobble, smile.  If you fall, laugh,” is a quote from my favorite podcast instructor, Phil Urso.  I hear his voice in my head now everytime I flip my dog.  I may not always turn completely into wheel, and it’s taken a long time to find a place of control in that place between down dog and flip dog. Transition is not easy. Change takes time. And, the process is often messy.  The challenge lies in the ability to find calm in the “in-betweens,” to breathe through the awkwardness, laugh at the fallings, and learn from the failures.

This morning, I crashed out of Peacock Feather Pose.  It was the first time I tried the pose in the middle of the room without the security blanket wall behind my feet.  Ironically, I didn’t go to the wall because I wanted to see if I could manage the pose without it.  Instead, I didn’t go to the wall because I was just too lazy to move my mat!  So, I set up my base, took a deep breath, and kicked my legs up.  For just a moment, I hovered in stillness, until I realized what I was doing, and I laughed BEFORE I came crashing to the floor.  My neck cracked.  My shoulders cracked.  My back cracked.  My hips cracked.  I think I even popped my knees!  When I crawled back to child’s pose and took a deep breath I realized that instead of feeling defeated and weak, I actually felt like I had experienced a 30 minute chiropractic appointment in a matter of seconds.

As I look outside at the first snow dustings of the season and contemplate the changes that have occurred this year, I am in awe. I have fallen a lot in the last year, sometimes with the assistance of some external force, other times at the cause of my own hand. And sometimes I take a little while to laugh, dust myself off, and get back up. The truth is, when I think about change, real change, I always grimace at the thought of the pain that comes with it.  Transition is scary.  And change hurts!  I remember vividly how my back felt the day after my down-dog/flip-dog/wheel crash.  But, as I realize how much I have changed since December 2007, somehow the pain is all worth it.

The bare trees of winter outside mimic to me how I wish I could embrace change.  Every year, they shed their leaves, bare their souls in the dead of winter, expose themselves in the coldest of elements.  When other creatures I crawling into dens to hibernate through the dead season, the trees take off their masks.  I can learn from both the trees and the hibernating creatures each winter. I realize that I can crawl inside myself and from that place, bare the marrow of my bones to the world. Once I find what is inside, no matter how uncomfortable it is to shed the masks, no matter how long it takes to remove the layers, becoming vulnerable and exposed, is promising and profound.

Post Thanksgiving and throughout the holiday season , we are often reminded of the activities in our abdomen, the vital digestive organs.  The excess intake of complex carbohydrates such as dressing, mashed potatoes and yams coupled with the extra sugars of pumpkin pie, marshmallows, holiday cookies, and cranberry sauce, and (for some of us) alcohol, puts our tummies into overload. No wonder we get tired.

The truth is, the holiday season is often labeled as the most stressful time of year, so it is no wonder that we turn to foods that have a calming and relaxing effect on our systems.  Fats, carbohydrates, alcohol, and the ever famous L-tryptophan in turkey are all agents that promote the synthesis of seratonin and or other factors leading to relaxation, sleepiness, or lethargy.

On an energetic level, the activity (or inactivity) of our tummies can be a great indication of what is going on in our lives, and is one of the easiest “diagnosis” tools in my work of body wisdom healing.  The digestive tract is located in the core of the third (manipura) chakra, the center of identity, power, will, and individuality.  Thus, issues surrounding the digestive tract always relate back to our sense of self, our personal power, and our individual identity.  When our tummies ache, we are facing issues of shame, not feeling good enough, powerlessness, and identity.

Holding On…

When a digestive tract “gets stopped up” or goes into “constipation”, more often than not, this is an indication that one is holding onto something that needs to be released.  Chronic constipation issues are signs of deep resentments or old unresolved identity issues that, unless processed and released, can result in bowel obstructions leading to further complications.  Resentment, especially deep resentment or regret, builds gradually over time.  More often than not, these issues began in childhood when we were teased by the school yard bully or somehow “wronged” by the really mean teacher.  Holding these identities placed upon us by others, often causes us to spend a lifetime trying to compensate, working hard to be “good enough” or to live up to expectations that don’t match our genetic code.  Over time, we begin to resent the expectations put upon us by others, the personality traits that are not accepted, and we hold onto anger, sadness, frustration, and inadequacies.  Each of these gets lodged, literally, in our digestive tract as more and more “crap” that we can’t let go.  When you suffer constipation in your life, it is good to ask yourself what it is you are holding onto that no longer serves you?  What resentments have you built up over the years?  How can you forgive those who have wronged you (perhaps those from long ago)?  How can you drop the grudges?  Addressing these questions will help you to release the excess baggage in your life and you might find yourself a little lighter.

The “Runs”…

Conversely, when food “goes right through” and we suffer “diarrhea”, more often than not, this is an indication that we are rejecting nourishment as it is provided to us.  Again, after years of teasing and bullying since childhood, we have developed a learned behavior of “not deserving.”  In some senses, the body has lost the ability to distinguish the healthy input from the negative input, and so it rejects it all.  Eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating are all examples of the physical body manifesting ailments as an expression of the lack of self-love, powerlessness, and shame one feels inside.  When we suffer diarrhea, it is good to ask yourself what is it in life that could be good for you that you are rejecting?  What is it you really want but think you do not deserve?  How have you given you power away?  Answers to these questions can help you discover what simple changes to make in your life to start healing your power chakra.

Cravings

The foods we are craving are more often signs of feeling “something’s missing” in our lives.  Take a look at the types of foods you are craving to discern what voids in your life are not being fulfilled.  Please note, this refers to chronic cravings that occur consistently.  If you have a food craving and it goes away after one dose, then the craving was simply a physical need to be fulfilled rather than an emotional issue to be resolved.  This list can also be referenced in “reverse”.  Should you desire the effects on the right side of the list, provide yourself more of the foods associated on the left column.

• Sugars = sweetness, intimacy
• Carbohydrates = comforts,
• Salts = foundation & support
• Proteins = strength, stability
• Caffeine = passion, drive, motivation, will
• Stimulant Drugs = purpose, mission
• Depressant Drugs = grace, surrender, needing to let go of control
• Fruits & Juices = sweetness, abundance
• Root vegetables (carrots, potatoes, yams, etc.) = grounding, foundation, support
• Watery vegetables (peppers, tomatoes, etc.) = cleansing, purification, renewal
• Leafy vegetables (swiss chard, kale, spinach, etc) = cleansing, love, acceptance

Treatment

Treatments for digestive tract issues are as complicated as the functions of each vital organ.  While the obvious response is to address the dietary intake and supplement with exercise, the larger picture involves a complex process of identifying one’s personal power issues, addressing old resentments, releasing grudges, developing self-esteem, and building self-confidence.  No wonder weight loss, diet fads, and exercise programs are such daunting tasks for most of us.

The good news is that baby steps can produce drastic results.  It may have taken us since childhood to develop these issues, but they can be reversed in a fraction of the time it took them to develop.

On a cold winter’s day a nice way to warm up both inside and out is with a hot cup of tea.  This recipe is simple and pure, and offers all kinds of detoxifying benefits.  Great for fending off colds, soothing sore throats, calming tummy aches, and warming the heart.

If you need the benefits of ginger and don’t want to take the time to brew up a tea, try slicing a quarter size piece of peeled ginger and eating it raw.  Ayurvedic physicians often prescribe this.  A slice of ginger can soothe the tummy after a particularly strong or spicy meal, calm nausea, and ward of indigestion.

• 4 cups water
• two inches of peeled & sliced ginger root
• lemon or honey (optional)

Bring the water to a boil.  Add the ginger. Cover it and reduce to a simmer for 15-20 minutes. Strain the tea. Add honey and lemon to taste.

Note: Keep in mind to attain the full benefits of ginger, sweeteners are not recommended.