Prana Pages

I’ve been having pain in my knees for the last several years.  I suppose it all began in 2001 when I was hit by a truck, but I have too much karmic guilt to blame the 77 year old Alzheimer’s patient who hit me and died a couple years later.  I sued the poor old man (his insurance company) to cover my medical expenses simply because my own insurance company refused to pay for the surgery to repair patella damage unless a lawsuit was filed.  Part of me always felt that it was my own darn fault for being in the road in the first place even though the kindly gentleman accepted full responsibility at the site of the accident claiming that he saw me and simply forgot that I was there when he made his left turn through the crosswalk.  This incident was the impetus for a doctor’s visit that diagnosed his Alzheimer’s, and I felt especially guilty for deciding to walk across the street to buy a salad that night.  Karmically speaking, perhaps he needed the wake-up call, and I needed the guilt trip.  Either way, my knees have never been the same since.

I never seem to feel the pain during my yoga practice, and I’m super careful to do everything right by my knees while on my mat.  I’ve learned to modify lunges, to avoid deep weight bearing knee bends, and to send loving healing thoughts to my kneecaps whenever I can.  The surgery was successful, and I healed up nicely, but I still have pain.  It appears at odd times during my daily life, often bringing me, literally, to my knees.  For example when I let my competitive spirit get the better of me and try to keep up with my  husband when he takes stairs two or three at a time, my knees scream for mercy.  Or, when I let my dog off leash to run and she runs a little further away than my comfort zone, and in anger, I run after her, my knees yelp with disgust.  Whatever the incidence, when my knees scream, I find myself humbled in the situation at hand.

One day, however, when I let my dog off leash she took off running across the baseball diamond behind my house.  Halfway across the field, she turned on her hind legs and landed facing me in her “play bow” with her curly tail corkscrewing behind her like a pinwheel.   She invited me into her game, and I accepted her challenge.  With a skip, forgetting for a moment about the tender ligaments in my knees, I launched into motion, chasing her, running and rolling on the ground before running some more.  I laughed, she yipped, and we raced around the baseball field for the better part of twenty minutes before I remembered that I had “bad knees.”  But I didn’t.  Or did I?  They certainly weren’t yelling at me then, nor did they for the rest of the day.

The next day,  I proclaimed my knees 100% healed, and lunged as deeply into warrior two as my thigh muscles could engage.  I even admired the depth of my pose in the tiny mirror of the closet door handle in my yoga room - oh the vanity!  That night, I literally crawled up the stairs after my husband, crying in pain, and slept with two ice packs, one for each knee.  My pride had gotten the best of me, and my knees were fast to scold me, so much so that they kept me out of lunges and in restorative poses for three days.

So what was so different that day in the playing field.  Why were my knees happy then, but not so much the next day on my mat?  Why do they yell at me sometimes and not others?

After nearly seven years of on and off knee pain, I began to realize that my knees yelled at me whenever I did something out of vanity, competition, anger, pride, or ego.  Racing my husband up the stairs only feeds my competitive spirit, and my knees were telling me to let it go.  Chasing my dog out of anger and spite only ignites further anger and spite, and my knees were telling me to relax and enjoy the walk.  Deepening my yoga pose to look more like the pictures in the books or to look better in the tiny mirrors around me only boosted my pride and ego further away from the enlightenment I desired.  Yet, playing with the dog out of joy and love, that’s a different story.  My knees liked that, and responded appropriately.  I realized that it was as if my knees were literally humbling me into my rightful place on earth.  Like a good parent, they scolded negativity and pride while at the same time commended joy and love.

As I contemplated my situation further, I began to analyze the different yoga poses that involve my knees:

Child’s pose I begin every practice in this pose of pranam, bowing to the child within me, asking the Divine for guidance, requesting strength and surrender, praying for peace and forgiveness.  No wonder my knees never hurt in this pose.  There is no pride or anger or spite in Child’s pose for me, it’s all about prayer and intention.

Warrior Poses Everytime I practice warrior poses, or lunges of any sort, I need to be careful to kick my ego out the door first.  Lunge deeper, go further, push harder, these are the words my American upbringing has come to hear, yet the exact words that push my knees into pain mode in lunges and warriors.  A warrior is not one who fights the battle for the war, but is wise enough to know when a battle is not worth the consequence and will only prolong the war.  A warrior is one who embodies the essence of “less is more”.

Chair Poses Oh I cringe at a deep chair pose.  In my early days of yoga, I learned in Bikram class that chair is really synonymous with awkward, and if done too far, too deep, too long, too much can equal knee excruciation (is that even a word?).  What I have now come to learn is that chair pose is about “taking my throne” and “sitting in the my seat” rather than finding the awkwardness of a situation uncomfortable.

Hero’s Pose & Fixed Firm Pose After my surgery, these two poses were virtually impossible.  Kneeling of any sort was painful and tight, and so I learned to be gentle and ginger with my body.  To listen to its screams and heed the warnings appropriately.  Now, these poses are deeper than I could have ever imagined.

Warrior One is a strong pose that establishes a powerful presence and firm foundation.  Stepping into this pose starts with establishing a strong base in the back leg, symbolizing the support of all past experiences.  As the front foot anchors to ground symbolizing a step into the next place on the journey, you connect with the power of what is yet to come.  By grounding in your past experiences (back foot) and your future intentions (front foot) you anchor yourself into the present moment by growing an energetic third leg from the tailbone to the floor.  Just as you are grounded in all three realms of time (past-present-future) the wholeness of this pose offers connection to the three realms of being (physical-energetic-symbolic).  Physically you are grounded in your legs and feet, energetically, you are open to the heavens and sky with your arms and heart, and symbolically you are receptive to the warrior power of your highest Truth of being.

The obvious spiritual focus in this pose is to draw into our awareness those challenges in our lives that require us to be vigilant, powerful, or maintain a warrior stance.  But, what often happens in this pose is that we tend to overwork this pose and fall into a state of fatigue or exhaustion.  We’ve all experienced it, the “droopy arms syndrome” where we can barely hold our arms up, or the “shaky leg syndrome” where our front leg begins to burn and then shake.  These are both physical signs, messages from our bodies telling us to back off from the pose, relax and find a little more sukha (surrender).  What has happened here is that we have applied the definition of the word “soldier” to the pose of “warrior” when a warrior is very different from a soldier.  A warrior is one who maintains a calm inner peace in times of battle and challenge.  A warrior is one who holds a consistent breath regardless of the circumstances.  Conversely, a soldier responds to the circumstances and the environment and acts appropriately.  These are very different energies.  Thus, the focus to maintain above all when holding warrior pose is to bring awareness to the center line of the body, and to bring the breath into that center line, drawing energy inward rather than expending it outward in reaction.

Alignment

• anchor your heels into the floor on the same line, keeping your toes light
• press into the pinky toe knife edge of your back foot and the ball of your front foot
• square your front knee over the front ankle, establishing as close to a 90 degree angle as possible
• internally rotate the thighs toward the center, energetic “third” leg
• square hips toward the front of the room, pulling femur bones into hip sockets
• tuck the tailbone and pull in the pubic bone to establish core strength and uddiyana bhanda
• roll shoulder blades back and down to pull your shoulders away from your ears and length at your neck
• raise your arms to the sky with hands open as if holding the sun between them
• internally rotate the arms so the pinky fingers turn slightly towards each other
• relax your neck by gazing straight ahead or up to your fingers
• maintain ujjayi breathing (long slow breath)

Benefits

• Increases heart rate to promote circulation & endurance
• Builds strength in thighs, buttocks, and core
• Opens chest to counter daily slumping and slouching habits
• Develops awareness of pelvic floor in relationship to core stabilization, foundation, & low back
• Variations provide opportunities to open chest, stretch arms, & build leg strength

Common Mis-alignments to avoid

• Front knee alignment is KEY!  It may tend to cave in toward the center line of the body compromising the stability of the front leg and putting excess strain on the ligaments and tendons of the knee.  If the knee comes too far forward over the toes, this puts the weight of the pose on the joint rather than in the muscles and can lead to knee strains.  Adjust by taking a shorter stance, and perhaps bringing the feet slightly apart width-wise.
• Raising the arms too far overhead may cause lifting of the shoulders causing neck straing or force the lower rib cage out, thus compromising core stability and putting strain on the middle and lower back.  Adjust by bringing the arms slightly forward or even working a modification with hands at prayer at heart center.
• Looking up at the hands may also raise shoulders and crunch the neck.  Adjust by leveling the chin forward and taking the wrinkles out of the neck.  Look up only with your eyes.
• Holding the pose with the knee bent at less than ninety degrees (having too wide of a stance) is the “cheater’s option”.  This doesn’t cause any major problems with injury, but you are sacrificing the full benefits of the pose.  Adjust by taking a slightly shorter stance and sinking the hips a little deeper.

I seem to have been caught in some sort of Customer Service abyss. First I decided that I needed to upgrade my cell phone and the service plan. Then, I discovered glitches in my life insurance policy and mortgage loan that needed attention. After over a week of playing the telephone customer service game, I thought I had become a master of the automated voice messaging systems and telephone menu options. But, my mind was frazzled, my spirit was somewhat broken, and I was wondering why I had started the game in the first place.

Upgrading my cell phone service plan was relatively painless. After a couple days of telephone menu options, I changed my perspective and went to the store where I was able to talk with someone in person.

Dealing with the mortgage loan and the life insurance company were a little different. After I thought maybe I was developing carpal tunnel syndrome from the menu option game, I found my way through the maze to real people, only to play the transfer to another department game. I learned why patience is so virtuous.

Thus far in this customer service game, I had developed an ability to change my perspective in situations, and deepened my capacity for patience. I’d even developed somewhat of an appreciation for scratchy renditions of Pachelbel Canon in D.

Then, I had to call the IRS.

And all the rules changed beneath my fingers poised above the telephone keypad. What I wanted didn’t matter. My story had no validity. What my CPA said might as well have been some scripture written in Sanskrit.

Turns out, I needed the extra cell phone minutes to cover the time I would spend on hold with the IRS. The glitch in my mortgage loan needed to be adjusted in order to satisfy the demands of the IRS. When the IRS transferred me for the sixth time to a different department two hours into the phone call, I realized the value of owning life insurance.

At the precise moment I was listening to a recording from the IRS saying “We’re sorry, we cannot address your inquiry at this time, please call back” (after over two hours, I was suddenly disconnected), my brother texted me a photo of last night’s breathtaking sunset in Maui.

Sometimes, the transformation I have in mind for myself doesn’t match the timeline, format, structure, or plan of Divine Order.

Sometimes, I cannot control what happens around me, no matter how much I beg, plead, yell, scream, sigh, bargain, and cry.

Sometimes, I cannot understand the grand scheme of things until everything is said and done.

Hindsight is always 20/20.

But, with perfect vision, I now offer gratitude to Verizon Wireless, Washington Mutual Bank, Thrivent Financial Services, and even the IRS (with a little help from my brother) for teaching me to let go of control, find a little patience, look at things from a different perspective, and step back and look at the big picture. All will eventually fall into place as it needs to at its right and perfect time.

Many instructors begin class with child’s pose, and end class in corpse pose, mimicking the stages of life from birth to death and to re-birth.  Child’s pose represents the beginning, the opening, the start of the cycle.

Everyday, I walk my dog around a playground by our house, and everyday my ears are beckoned by the laughter of children on the playground, and my eyes are drawn to watch them climb and slide, swing and jump, laugh and even cry.  Children are constantly experimenting with their bodies, learning how to use different parts, testing their abilities, and pushing their strength to the next level.  From the time they can barely open their eyes to focus, to the time they are learning to dress their dolls or action figures, to the times they practice the intricacies of connecting bat to ball, they are enjoying the movement, action, motion, and function of their bodies, challenging themselves to improve performance, to do more, to experience, and to feel.  They fall, and they get back up.  They cry, and they run off to play after a brush and a kiss.  But, as we age into our bodies, we forget the joys of this human space suit and we begin to feel more and more restricted by its limitations than we are curious about its abilities.  Thus, we begin our yoga practice with a pose to remind us of the wondrous abilities of our bodies, a time in our lives when we experimented and played with our physical capability.

Child’s pose is also a pose used in various forms of prayer, known as pranam.  This position is used in Darshan as an expression of reverence to a guru.  It is used in prayer as a bow to God.  In this position, we are face down to Mother Earth, surrendered to the ultimate goddess, bowing to the Divine within all.   In pranam we are drawing into ourselves, closing our senses to the outer world, connecting with the ultimate source, the power within our own beings.  It is no wonder that yoga instructors cue us to take child’s pose when we feel overwhelmed, lost, overly challenged, or frustrated with the practice.  It is a way to reconnect with our true self, with the Divine within.  It is a way to reconnect with the love, peace, joy, surrender, and wonder we felt as children.

In my own practice today, child’s pose felt really great.  It felt so great that when it came time to move to the second pose, I chose to stay, and to another pose, I stayed again.  Eventually, I turned off the podcast and listened to my body’s need to stay in child’s pose.  I spent nearly twenty minutes with my face on the mat, folded into myself, in complete surrender.  All I could say to myself afterwards was that I must have needed it.

Child’s Pose has many variations, and each variation holds its own meaning, purpose, and benefits.  My favorite way to practice child’s pose is what I call a full connection.  As shown in the picture above, I like to touch my thumbs and first fingers together in a diamond like shape, open my knees wide, and touch my big toes together.  The connection of the thumbs, index fingers, and big toes is like a spark of energy aligning the left and right sides of my body into unison, and the diamond shape that results is indicative of the brilliant energy that resides within my being.  However, some days the extension of energy out the points of the diamond shape is a little too much for me, and so I choose a more traditional version of the pose with my arms by my sides, or sometimes even underneath my body as a way of pulling deeper into the roots of my being, into myself.  Sometimes I choose to work more yang in the pose and really activate the energy at my core, while other times I choose to practice more yin and allow myself to surrender and beheld by the earth below, permitting the ligaments and tendons at my joints to stretch away from the bones with the natural force of gravity.  Sometimes I am content to stay in child’s pose, focusing on the elongation of each breath with the stretching of my spine.  Other times, I am called to move, to arch and curve with the breath, to flow from side to side or even rise and fall or twist and lengthen with the breath.  Each day, beginning my practice in child’s pose is like an experiment in the laboratory of my body.  However my body feels best in child’s pose is an indication of how to best pursue the rest of my practice.

Camel pose is known for its heart opening benefits, but we rarely identify the power it holds as a pose for prayer.  Obviously, as we set up in the pose in a kneeling position, we are setting our bodies in place for prayers.  If you begin the pose with your hands at namaste and offer a moment of intention toward prayer, then raise your hands overhead before placing on your low back or heels for the full pose, you are reaching into the Divine from a place of intention.  Symbolically, taking a kneeling pose is about being brought to our knees in a place of devotion, or perhaps being overwhelmed by emotion and passion.  This pose is also the ultimate pose for finding compassion for others, in all its forms.  If you are struggling with forgiveness, or watching a loved one face a challenge, or simply feeling disconnected from relationships, a series of Camel poses with help you find that compassion inside yourself that is an expression of love for the human race.

In addition, as a totem animal, the camel represents the ability to accomplish the impossible, to face a challenge with ease and grace.  Camels represent the ultimate of optimism, seeing the glass as always “half-full” and maintaining a positive attitude through the harshest of times.  Thus, camel is a pose to turn to for support through the most challenging of times in your life.  Although this pose is not always easy or identified as a “feel good” pose, the relief and rush of endorphins and flush of emotions after the pose makes it well worth the effort, just as those challenges in life are not easy nor comfortable, they make us stronger. 

Alignment

• kneeling in a prayer-like position, square your knees directly under your hips
• activate the thigh muscles for the duration of the pose, allow the flexibility of the backbend to come from the strength of the legs
• place your hands at your sacrum as a reminder and indication to tilt the tailbone down into neutral position, MAINTAIN this neutral tailbone alignment through the whole pose!
• pull in the lower ribs and the lower belly to support and stabilize the lower spine
• lift the torso up out of the hips to lift the heart towards the sky
• squeeze the shoulder blades together while still lifting in and up with the heart
• start to arch back, keeping the chin tucked in until gravity pulls it down
• keep your throat open and lifted to the sky
• only if not restricting to the breath, reach back to grasp the heels

Benefits

• stiumulates kidneys to “wake-up” the body and increase motivation 
• builds leg strength
• opens heart and lungs to improve circulation and respiratory functioning
• changes perspective and challenges perception by turning yourself upside down and backwards 
• increases spinal flexibility

Common Mis-alignments to avoid

• Spreading the knees too far apart can put excess strain on the low back, continuous mis-practice like this can cause chronic low back pain.  Modify by locking a block between the legs, reminding the body to take the strain of the pose in the strength of the legs, not the flexibility of the low back.
• Dropping the head back too far and restricting the breath can cause neck pain and light headedness.  It is not uncommon to feel faint and perhaps pass out in this pose from restricting blood flow through the spine.  Modify by keeping the chin tucked in, or looking more to the ceiling than to the back wall.
• Reaching for the heels before the body is ready can force constriction into the low back and take the strength out of the pose.  Squeezing a block between the thighs can remind the body to work from the legs instead of the back.

Overbending into flexibility at the low back, low ribs, or neck can restrict blood flow through the spine and block the energy lines.  Maintain a clean even curve through the spine from the tailbone to the neck.  Compromise depth of the pose for even breath and smooth energy lines to remain safe.